February 2012
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bloodtier:
when i say otp i dont actually mean “one true pairing” because having only one would be terrible
what i actually mean is i sail this ship so hard that my feelings will make the boat change form into a rocket ship and i will pierce through the atmosphere with how much i want these two to be doki doki
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holybowlegs asked: PREMIUM BEAUTIFUL PERSON! Once you receive this award, you are supposed to paste it into the ask of eight people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know that someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. ｡◕‿◕｡
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
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sm00sh:
Maybe all of the Republican candidates are pranking us by being the worst possible human beings on earth and then they’ll reveal that it was just a joke and we’ll all laugh about it and be best friends
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Comment on the "Angel with a Shotgun" video
misha-kalens:
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DESTIEL”
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When shows go on hiatus I miss them as if they were close friends who’ve gone away and never remember to call.
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yellow-truck-airlines:
Because this needs it’s own post :D
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I'm an angel with a shotgun, fightin' till the...
waitingforhertimelord:
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This is no joke, it really happened in my first...
My EMR instructor: You arrive at a scene with a patient laying on the ground. You check their level of alertness and they appear unconscious. You have already opened their airway with an adjunct and are administering oxygen.
What do you do next?
Student: Call 911!
My EMR Instructor: YOU ARE 911.
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